Conrolling the Controllables: Lessons from Janet Jackson's 'Control'

Life is full of disappointments that can shake our confidence and leave us feeling lost.

As an organization, we certainly have had our share at the Life Works Project.

From denied grant applications, breakups to job losses, or unexpected health diagnoses, these experiences can be tough to face. However, it is in these challenging moments that we can find a chance to strengthen our resolve. By focusing on the present and taking control of our actions, we can chart a path toward healing and growth.

Staying in the moment is key. Instead of getting lost in what went wrong in the past or worrying about what could happen in the future, we can choose to be fully present now. A notable example is the popular song "Control" by Janet Jackson, which reminds us that while we cannot change our circumstances, we can choose our reactions. Because as Janet says, "You've got your own mind and you can make your own decesions."

By shifting our focus to what we can do to foster our well-being today, we empower ourselves to handle challenges more effectively.

A beautiful sunset reflecting on a calm lake symbolizes new beginnings.

Recognizing and validating our feelings is the first step on this journey. Allow yourself to fully experience those emotions, whether it's sadness, frustration, or anger. This acknowledgment is key to healing. You might want to express your thoughts by writing them down, chatting with a supportive friend, or channeling your feelings through art or music. For instance, painting or playing an instrument can provide a necessary emotional release, ensuring that you don’t bottle up your emotions.

After you've faced your feelings, turn your attention to what you can actively do today. Make a simple to-do list of tasks that excite you, no matter how small. For example, perhaps you could set a goal to spend 15 minutes reading a book you love or take a walk in nature. Celebrating these small victories can significantly boost your mood and give you a sense of control—research has shown that accomplishing even minor tasks can improve overall mental health.

Mindfulness practices, such as deep-breathing exercises or guided meditation, play a crucial role in maintaining presence. These techniques not only help calm an anxious mind but also enhance clarity on what truly matters in your life. Dedicating just five to ten minutes a day to mindfulness can drastically change how you respond to stress, as studies suggest that regular mindfulness practice can reduce anxiety and increase emotional resilience by up to 30%.

Another effective strategy is cultivating gratitude. Aim to reflect on three things that you appreciate each day, regardless of their size. Studies indicate that individuals who regularly practice gratitude report 25% more happiness and emotional well-being. You might find joy in the warmth of your morning coffee, the laughter of a friend, or the beauty of a sunset. By focusing on these positives instead of what you lack, you can shift your mindset and enhance your overall happiness.

Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of a strong support system. Open up to friends, family, or join support groups where you can share your experiences. Having someone listen can make a world of difference. Knowing you are not alone can boost your resilience and provide you with strength during tough times.

As you navigate the tough waters of disappointment, remember that you have the power to shape your reality. Engage fully in the present moment, focusing on what lies within your control right now. Take inspiration from Janet Jackson's lyrics about "Control," remembering that it’s your story to tell. Through mindfulness, gratitude, and leaning on supportive relationships, you can reclaim your strength and shine through, even in the darkest times. Now sing it with me! Controooool!!!